Why your relationship with God looks different than your spouse’s

Your relationship with God will look different than your spouse’s.

Based on your own individual life experiences, upbringing, and beliefs, your spouse and you will probably have different walks with God.

  • How you relate to, and experience God’s presence, will look different than anyone else in this world – even your spouse.  Because you are unique.
  • God is multi-faceted, which means He is able to connect with people in unique and very different ways.
  • Your spiritual gifts may be different than your spouse’s, so where and how God uses you will probably be different than his/hers.
  • You are physically and mentally different than your spouse.  Celebrate the differences, you are a great team as a married couple!

God’s Truth about our differences:

Romans 12 starting in verse 6:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

1 Corinthians 12:4

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.”

KEY POINT:

Your relationship with God is unique, and it will look different than your spouse’s.  And that’s totally OK!

If you are constantly worried or concerned about your spouses’ relationship with God, we encourage you to pray for him/her, leave it all in God’s hands (1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”), and then shift your focus and energy from their relationship with the Lord, to your relationship with the Lord.

****Your relationship with God, your belief in Jesus Christ, and your dependence on the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort you is the most important thing in your life.****

Everything else is peripheral.

Why is it the most important thing?

God created you ON PURPOSE, with gifts and talents to be cultivated in order to do the work He has designed JUST for you to do.  Believe that as you define and cultivate your spiritual gifts, God will provide opportunities to use them.

When you know you are using your God-given gifts in a way that serves others, there is truly NOTHING LIKE IT ON THIS EARTH.

It is KNOWING YOUR PURPOSE…it gives you purpose.  It is not only a feeling, but a KNOWING.

So read through Roman’s 12 starting in verse 6 again, what do you believe are your spiritual gifts?

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

How can you use your gifts to serve God and others?

God has great plans for you, and that plan includes using your unique gifts.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We encourage you to spend time developing your relationship with God, and release your spouse of any expectations that they should be at a certain level of faith…or that their faith walk should look any certain way.

Watch our latest LIVE show where we explain this in more detail and share our story:

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Action items to help you move forward:

 

  1. What do you believe are your spiritual gifts?
  2. When and how do you feel closest to God?
  3. Get to know God even more, by reading the New Testament.
  4. Pray for your spouse, support your spouse, and trust that God will take care of everything in your marriage.  If this is a challenge, take 1 Peter 5:7 to heart: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
  5. Ask God to fill your life with His presence, and look for that in your days this week. Seek Him, and He will meet you wherever you are.  Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
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I feel like I’m the only one trying to make our marriage work

“I feel like I’m the only one trying to make our marriage work.”

This is a comment we receive quite often, and the solution is not “one size fits all,” because each marriage is the unique partnership between two people. It’s tough when you feel like your spouse is not “pulling their weight” or even willing to work on your marriage at all.

However, we’ve found that even when there are great challenges in the relationship, the other person usually DOES want to make things better, regardless of whether they say so or act like it.

Most of the time they don’t know how to move forward, or may not feel comfortable talking about the subject with their partner because of the tension it brings (why start a conversation when you think it might end badly?)

No matter how good we are, we can always get better.

How you approach your partner, how you treat them, and the expectations you hold them to all play a part in how they will respond to your request to “work on the marriage” along with you.

Tune into the Real Marriage show this Sunday at 9 pm EST for “Marriage Expectations”

Learn how to become aware, and then release one another, of any unmet expectations that may be keeping you from growing together.

Know a couple who needs to see this? Share it.

“Unmet expectations” can be a huge barrier to intimacy in your marriage.