Why your relationship with God looks different than your spouse’s

Your relationship with God will look different than your spouse’s.

Based on your own individual life experiences, upbringing, and beliefs, your spouse and you will probably have different walks with God.

  • How you relate to, and experience God’s presence, will look different than anyone else in this world – even your spouse.  Because you are unique.
  • God is multi-faceted, which means He is able to connect with people in unique and very different ways.
  • Your spiritual gifts may be different than your spouse’s, so where and how God uses you will probably be different than his/hers.
  • You are physically and mentally different than your spouse.  Celebrate the differences, you are a great team as a married couple!

God’s Truth about our differences:

Romans 12 starting in verse 6:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

1 Corinthians 12:4

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.”

KEY POINT:

Your relationship with God is unique, and it will look different than your spouse’s.  And that’s totally OK!

If you are constantly worried or concerned about your spouses’ relationship with God, we encourage you to pray for him/her, leave it all in God’s hands (1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”), and then shift your focus and energy from their relationship with the Lord, to your relationship with the Lord.

****Your relationship with God, your belief in Jesus Christ, and your dependence on the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort you is the most important thing in your life.****

Everything else is peripheral.

Why is it the most important thing?

God created you ON PURPOSE, with gifts and talents to be cultivated in order to do the work He has designed JUST for you to do.  Believe that as you define and cultivate your spiritual gifts, God will provide opportunities to use them.

When you know you are using your God-given gifts in a way that serves others, there is truly NOTHING LIKE IT ON THIS EARTH.

It is KNOWING YOUR PURPOSE…it gives you purpose.  It is not only a feeling, but a KNOWING.

So read through Roman’s 12 starting in verse 6 again, what do you believe are your spiritual gifts?

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

How can you use your gifts to serve God and others?

God has great plans for you, and that plan includes using your unique gifts.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We encourage you to spend time developing your relationship with God, and release your spouse of any expectations that they should be at a certain level of faith…or that their faith walk should look any certain way.

Watch our latest LIVE show where we explain this in more detail and share our story:

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Action items to help you move forward:

 

  1. What do you believe are your spiritual gifts?
  2. When and how do you feel closest to God?
  3. Get to know God even more, by reading the New Testament.
  4. Pray for your spouse, support your spouse, and trust that God will take care of everything in your marriage.  If this is a challenge, take 1 Peter 5:7 to heart: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
  5. Ask God to fill your life with His presence, and look for that in your days this week. Seek Him, and He will meet you wherever you are.  Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
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10 Ways to Love Your Spouse

We really like the 10 ways to show real love to your spouse:

  1. Listen without interrupting (Proverbs 18).
  2. Speak without accusing (James 1:19).
  3. Give without holding back (Proverbs 21:26).
  4. Pray without ceasing (Colossians 1:9).
  5. Answer without arguing (Proverbs 17:1).
  6. Share without pretending (Ephesians 4:15).
  7. Enjoy without complaining (Philippians 2:14).
  8. Trust without wavering (Corinthians 13:7).
  9. Forgive without punishing (Colossians 3:13).
  10. Promise without forgetting (Proverbs 13:12).

And here’s a handy reminder image you can save or share:

10 ways to love

Couple Stress Inventory: How to Reduce and Eliminate Stress in Your Relationship

Just like any relationship, your partner and you have probably been through your share of stressful situations.

Unmanaged stress has caused tension, anxiety, criticism, and even physical illness…along with many unnecessary arguments.

Left unchecked, stress is a bona-fide joy-stealer!

Taking a stress inventory allows you to “reset” so that you can get everything out on the table (and on paper!) and focus on the issues that you CAN change, and release the ones you cannot.  Working as a team to encourage and support one another as you go through the challenging times.

This will make all of the difference, and change how you view stress because now you’ll have a system for working through stress that eliminates all the unnecessary worry that can literally bog your relationship down.

Watch as we share how to create your Stress Inventory and work through your stressors as a couple on this segment of the Real Marriage LIVE 👇🏼

The Personal Stress Worksheet is still available to all new email subscribers, so feel free to add it to your relationship toolkit by subscribing here: Sign Me Up!

We’ve shared this exercise with every couple we’ve mentored over the years, because stress is a barrier to intimacy, and you know we don’t like those barriers.

We hope you find this system as helpful as we do!

Know a friend who needs to see this? Share it.

*Andy and Katy host the Real Marriage LIVE.  Visit their Facebook page to tune in Sunday night at 9 pm, est.